Time

Never has it felt so against me.

In these past few months I have been letting this blog stew tenderly in my mind. With each precious moment, of which there are so many, I have made a mental note to add it to the pot. At night when I'm rocking in a dark nursery, with only a sliver of light stretching out from the door to greet us, I want to collect the silence. After my son has had his fill and curls up into my chest, drunk with milk, I want to add the contentment. While gently lowering myself and my 4 week old into a warm bath, a moment I've looked forward to since forever, I note to add my confidence.

When it seems he can cry no more and throws another hour of it in the ring, I want to add my patience. While I hum

songs to him at the changing table and he grins wildly at me,

I note to add this joy. When walking about town and a

stranger stops at his cuteness, I want to add my pride. In the evening when Keith comes home to find his son is still awake

and complete elation lights up my boy's faces, I want

to add their adoration...

But like I said, time is against me. At two months old I see this chubby baby where my stretched out little newborn was, and I just want to bawl. I can't imagine him not being as perfect as he is or being as happy

as he makes us at this very second. So, the thought of time passing, becoming something else,

moving one step closer to the day when he will no longer be

my sweet noodle, kills me. All the while I am

hovering in each moment, never wanting to miss a thing (or to forget it to share/archive) and the list grows longer and longer; right along with the list of chores to do, people to call, etc.

There was no preparing for this, every mothers advice stating as much is true. There are no words for this love.

And so my friends, Henry Porter Yeomans has arrived. And with him he has brought more love, fear, passion, joy and gratitude than I have ever known. Yes, I am addicted to this point in my life, to my sweet joyful son, to the man I married and now love more than I ever thought possible; and like an addict, I am desperate for these quiet days with my son like nothing I've ever wanted before. It's truly amazing...

that anyone can be this happy. And while he changes daily, getting more rolls by the minute and his red tuft of hair in the front longer, I change too. I'm one of those women I could never see

myself becoming - an obsessed mommy who doesn't seem to find

the time to brush her hair, but

has all the time in the world for her baby (or anything

remotely related to said baby).

Welcome my darling son, I hope the world for you

(and also that you don't grown to resent this mommy/shadow

you have).

Henry Porter Yeomans

10-16-2011

5:10 am

7 lbs 14 oz

22 inches

Long Beach, CA

best. thing. ever.

We love you noodle.

We were born before the wind

Also younger than the sun

Ere the bonnie boat was won as we sailed into the mystic

Hark, now hear the sailors cry

Smell the sea and feel the sky

Let your soul and spirit fly into the mystic

And when that fog horn blows I will be coming home

And when the fog horn blows I want to hear it

I don't have to fear it

And I want to rock your gypsy soul

Just like way back in the days of old

And magnificently we will flow into the mystic

When that fog horn blows you know I will be coming home

And when that fog horn whistle blows I got to hear it

I don't have to fear it

And I want to rock your gypsy soul

Just like way back in the days of old

And together we will flow into the mystic

Come on girl...

Too late to stop now...

Into The Mystic - Van Morrison

October

It's always been a wonderful month...fall creeps in, we start to spend more time at home in the evenings, I cook things in my oven again after the hot summer hiatus, and best of all, Keith's birthday.

This year is different.

It's better.

It's a double birthday month.

I love to celebrate my husbands birthday mostly because he is so terribly modest, and never expects a thing. But this year, October arrived and it sent us both into a fraz of excitement and anticipation for reasons entirely new. Our little boy will be here any day and to say we are thrilled is the understatement of the year! Keith hovers around my every move, waiting to the birth process to begin, and had I not reminded him, he would have totally forgot his birthday this year : )

I, of course, think Keith is the most fabulous person in the world. He is hysterically funny and half the time isn't even meaning to be. He is thoughtful and genuine in a way that makes me strive to be a better person in every way I can. He is loyal and loving in a way that teaches me daily what it means to really be in love and loved. He makes sense out of madness, listens like a mother and builds you up like a father. He is charming, honest, handsome, and kind. He rules my hearth and heart and is the guardian of everything I value in this world.

Together we have created a boy child and any day now we will see his tender face. We will cover him with all our pent up adoration and whisper to him his name: Henry (ruler of the hearth) Porter (guardian), a boy destined to be an October boy; just like his father. The lion hearted Yeomans boys.

With a father like Keith, my son will grow to be a far better man than I could ever imagine. And for this, and so much more, I am more happy today than I was yesterday, and expect only to surpass it tomorrow.

Happy Birthday, Keith.

Thank you for all you do,

all you have done,

and all that we will become.