My friends, how are you?
Honestly, how are you?
I sat down to write about Mothers Day, and all I can think is, how are you? How am I? There is no doubt that this year has tested us, broken our hearts a little, and built us up a little. Each one of us has been walking around carrying our own unique layers of needs, piled high and heavy across our shoulders. I would guess that most of us moms have been stacking it on thick without even seeing how high it’s stacked, and effecting the balance of your life. Because moms keep going. Head down or head up, moms keep going. For me, it was just after the holidays that I realized that what I was feeling was a hazy, ever-present, sense of whiplash. In my head, in my body, and in my heart, there’s been an echo of, ‘ what, what, what!?’ that crescendos and falls like a daily dramatic choir.
I’d had my focus sharp, living our little life, but also rolling down a hill in slow motion. There has been this suspended feeling of disconnect, a lack of control, and a tender heaviness that greeted me, sometimes daily, so that those I love might feel it all a little less. I am both proud and saddened by this reality. Proud of what I’ve held together, and saddened for what’s been, or felt, lost…a life whiplash unlike anything I have ever felt before.
Then a few weeks ago I was having coffee outside, and I just smelled spring. Out of nowhere its unmistakable earthy scent hugged, and I felt like I could cry. It triggered such hope in me. I ran my hands through my hair as I’ve done a million times this past year, but not in stress or exaggeration, but in grace, in exhale, in letting go. I felt done feeling like I was going to white knuckle my days. Spring can do that to you, invade your senses with the demand of bloom, of growth, of hope.
After this year, you’d think breaking up with 12 months of angst would be dramatic, but it was a simple as turning on a light. It was time, and it wasn’t me, it was the nature of the year. We are going our separate ways, and if God is in the details, well then yes, just a smell of dirt and fauna in the air was reason enough for leaving.
This time last year I was putting together some mini sessions that I had gone out of my way to make feel new and special. The bar was high in considering how to recreate them for this year, but I realized it wasn’t about the stuff, it was about us moms. It was about spending time with other moms, talking, laughing, connecting on the one thing we universally went through. It was about reaching out and saying I see you, and my goodness, you’re amazing mama. It was about celebrating where you are, what’s behind you, and the massive gift you are to all who receive your love.
I will hold a few days of sessions, each focused on mamas and their babes in the trees, at the beach, or at my home for some fun with florals and pastels. Whatever you are feeling drawn to, we will celebrate there, and I truly cannot wait. It’s what my soul has been seeking, what my heart has been wanting, and I hope what you might need too…some time, for you, with your little loves, to celebrate how grateful you all are to have one another.
Email me for more details, and because of our new schooling schedule, my time spots will be a little more limited than I’d hoped, but lets chat, and I can’t wait to see you.
